Forgiveness

Can people truly forgive? I'm beginning to wonder if it is at all possible. I try, I do. But inevitably something happens and all of my previous anger comes back full force. All of the reasons, moments, actions flood my mind like a movie on fast forward. One after the other. Then, I'm not only because of whatever just happened, but rather I'm angry because of EVERYTHING.

My book I'm reading says to forgive the intent. Meaning, the things most people do that hurt others are not actions intentionally meant to hurt someone else. It is actually just an action they perform for their own self-gratification, which in turn hurts someone else. Take an affair. Most people have the affair because of their own selfish reasons and desires - not to harm their spouse. There are some that do want to inflict harm, but for the most part it is just pure selfishness.

I also feel that as I am trying to forgive I am also expecting him to change. This is foolish on my part, I know, but I can't help it. So many times I vow to forgive him, I beg for the spirit of forgiveness, then he comes to visit our children and will say or do something and I'm angry.

I need to not only forgive the past, but also forgive his present actions because he will not change. I need to forgive him because he obviously cannot help it. I need to forgive because holding that much anger in my heart is hurting ME an I deserve better!

Dear Lord,
Please grant me the grace to not only forgive the past and present, but also the desire to forgive.
In Your name I pray.
Amen